Player
Profiles
Saturday
Team
Centre
Midfield / Centre Defence
Weasel
Boy 2 (see James Badham and Dale Humphries) can regularly be found searching
Malvern for unsuspecting Sixth form students.
One of many jokers in the team Jamie
takes
great pleasure in inflicting humiliation on other unsuspecting members of the
squad.
Jamie’s
habit of avoiding blatant bookings is a much-practiced skill.
Saturday
Team
Centre
Midfield
'Chipper'
is the third member of Team Weasel (see Jamie Abba and Dale Humphries) and
is
always to be found at the epicentre of trouble. An incurable romantic Chipper
can be seen
failing
to romance with any female of any description (pulse is a bonus, but not an
essential).
Chipper
has an incredible ability to perform acts of lunacy while drunk and has a
passion for
fire
extinguishers on mini buses traveling down motorways at high speed.
Chipper's
jewellery buying habits keeps Argos in business
Club
Secretary and ex-Chairman of many years
Centre
Forward (in the days when shin-pads were for wimps and everyone kept ferrets)
'Birdie'
is a legendary linesman and can be found desperately waving his flag at any
opportunity.
Birdie
likes to show off his blue Y fronts and believes that side partings are still a
good thing.
Birdie
is Powick through and through and without him the club would not be anywhere
near as successful.
Sunday
Team
Centre
Defence / Centre Forward
Jamie
is our Central defender. When he gets knocked down he just keeps getting back
up !!
Jamie
has recently recovered from a kidney operation - the rest of the team wishes
him all the best.
Jamie
took time out to plan a romantic holiday for him and his Girlfriend next
summer.
He
brought back some photos for us.
Saturday
Manager & Sunday Team
Full
Back / Centre Defence
Andy
converted to Saturday Manager from player earlier in the Season and was sorely
not missed
in
Powick's defence. As a teacher Andy has been 'blessed' with a fog horn for a
mouth
and
is always keen to speak as little as possible. He recently managed to keep a
team
talk
down to less than an hour and got three people to actually listen.
Saturday
& Sunday Team (when not sponging off society as a student)
Left/Centre-Midfield
Brian
is our Attacking midfielder with a few tricks up his sleeve.
He
is currently our top scorer this season.
He
enjoys strumming his instrument in his spare time and we would all like
to
take this moment to congratulate him in his recent success.
Rock
and Roll Yeah !!!!
Saturday
Team
Right
/ Centre Midfield
The
Six Million Dollar man was rebuilt fewer times than Sam.
Tony
Blair recently announced that if Sam were to stop playing football then the NHS
waiting
lists would rapidly drop. When not being told off by his Father for playing
football,
Sam
can be seen watching his favourite television programme, Casualty.
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Centre
Forward
Always
keen to promote positive relations with opposition teams Dean is an ambassador
of goodwill.
Dean
has a magic touch with a fruit machine and has a left foot with the explosive
effects of a cannon.
Dean
is a very shy member of the team who avoids confrontation at all costs.
Saturday
Secretary & Sunday Supporter
Hustler-extraordinaire
Colin
is the man who has an unfailing ability to collect subs which given the
reprobates
who
play for Powick, this is no mean feat! Colin is a pool hustler and regularly
robs unsuspecting
victims
with his Paul Newmanesque antics.
Colin
is a Formula One driver in his spare time and once drove at 35 mph in a 30
zone.
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Centre
Forward
Failing
an audition for 'Big Bird' from Sesame Street did not upset Stu and despite
being
fifteen
feet tall he keeps his feet firmly on the ground. Stu is the Peter Crouch of
the Powick team,
except
for the fact that he does have a first touch and can actually score a lot of
goals.
Stu
has an aversion to yellow cards similar to female aversions to a Stellared up
Hodgy.
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Centre
/Left Midfield
Captain
of the side and midfield Mr Reliable.
When
not competing for the ball on the pitch Lee can be found big game hunting
around
Worcestershire’s
less than reputable establishments. Lee likes to bag especially large animals
and
has a number of true beasts on his list of accomplishments.
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Centre
Midfield / Centre Forward
Gary
models himself on his idol Davy Crocket and is keen to check out the many
beauties of nature.
Unlike
his brother he is generally no big game hunter, though he does have one or two
over
sized
skeletons in his closet. Gary is on the verge of making the Weasel posse a gang
of four,
but
as yet has failed to make it into this elite social club.
Saturday
Team
Goalkeeper
Ian
just misses out on a Nobel Peace prize every year and is regularly found trying
to calm situations down.
Capable
of acrobatic saves Ian has the capacity to kick the ball the length of 8
pitches,
though
can be directionally reliable as a scud missile.
Ian
is most definitely not in touch with his feminine side.
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Centre
Defence
Still
remembering the glory of heading a ball twice in one season Steve is the
linchpin of
the
Powick defence. Steve is fond of Stella and has developed an incredible ability
to repel
women
after 6 pints of his favourite beverage.
Saturday
Team
Left
Back
Affectionately
known as Weasel One (see Jamie Abba and James Badham) Dale is mothered by
the
girlfriends of other players. This Pederson Look-a-like operates down the left
flank and when
not
trying to impress the crowd or offer a witty remark to an opponent he is
usually the victim
of
world class saves by opposing goalkeepers.
Dale
is a member of the infamous Malvern Rap Posse and is always ready to 'pop a cap
in somebody's ass'.
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Centre
Forward / Wide Midfield
Photo
To Be Added
A
curious taste in neck attire this speed merchant is capable of scoring some
outstanding goals.
His
desire to drink whiskey at lunchtime on a Sunday has raised a few eyebrows, but
more worrying
is
his desire to get Ben to kiss his guns during nights out.
Tim
has somehow managed to keep a very attractive girlfriend for a long period of
time.
Scientists
are still baffled at this mystery!
Saturday
Team
Centre
Defence / Right Back
The
four-foot defensive terror that is known as Dave Lewis can always be counted on
to provide
stability
in the team. Being a Villa fan has blessed him with a sense of humour and
Dave’s
legendary
impression of a man running in quicksand is certainly amusing to his team
mates.
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Centre
Defence
Ever
reliable Shaun is the rock at the centre of the Powick defence.
The
self styled Mr Smooth is a regular Romeo and once only went out with three
women in a month.
Shaun's
golfing prowess is akin to his powers of romance and recently won the honour of
being
Powick’s
inaugural pitch and putt champion.
Saturday
Team
Goalkeeper
Photo
To Be Added
Steve
is a goalkeeper who regularly plies his extra time trade in Le Mango's.
An
avid Liverpool fan Steve yearns for the glory days to return and still wont wash
his Liverpool
FC
duvet he had as a present when he was 6. Earnest and reliable Steve is a valued
member
of
the squad. Steve's haircut is a close second in terms of naffness to Ben's (see
below).
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Right
Midfield
Ben
is a smooth criminal of the team and a regular ladies man.
Ben
regularly slinks off with a young lady during nights out and given the fact
that he has the worst
hair
cut in the team, he obviously possesses some amazing secret. Known as the best
crosser in
the
team Ben can regularly be found kicking the ball out for a goal kick.
Saturday
Team
Left
Midfield
Photo
To Be Added
This
new member for the squad is a flying winger with an eye for goal.
Luckily
he is a male Sixth Former or Jamie Abba would no doubt have tried to pull him.
Michael
has an uncanny knack of getting his Mother to pay for his subs. Michael is
currently trying to
sue
his own Father for neglect, well what right minded Father would force his son
to be a Sunderland fan?
Sunday
Team
Centre-Midfield
Nick
is our hard tackling Midfielder who could be likened to Robbie Savage.
Those
who know him best – more like Lilly Savage !!
As
you can see below he is a great all round performer on and off the pitch !
Saturday
& Sunday Team
Left
/ Right Midfield
The
speed of Carl Lewis with the inability to stop like Forest Gump is a mixed
blessing for this
pacey
winger. Nick can be found on nights out regularly fretting over his girlfriend
whilst
continuing
to drink himself into a sure-fire telling off the next day.
This
Mr Nice Guy is eagerly awaiting his speed duel with Tim Lambeth -
lets
just hope for his sake it doesn't involve running with the ball.
Club
Chairman and ex-Secretary of many years
'Stowie'
is also a long time (or is it long suffering?) member of the committee.
He
puts hours into the football club and is our first aid expert.
Chris
is a lover of practical jokes and likes it when the weasel boys wind him up.
Chris
has never reacted to a prank and is always calmness personified.